Old Scratch Is Lookin' For Work.....

Resume

Name: Satan/El Diablo/Thunder From Down Under
DOB: I never can remember dates.
Marriage Status: Single, dating Laura Bush.
Education:
1. Right Hand of God
2. MBA, Harvard
3. Yale Law School

Honors:
Voted Most Likely to Go to Hell
Member, Sigma Sigma Sigma Fraternity
Ralph P. Eubanks Negative Action Scholarship

Publications:
The Seven Deadly Sins
The Old Testament (only the Book of Leviticus)
The Book of Mormon (that was a lot of fun)
Dianetics (as by L. Ron Hubbard)

Other Writing Credits:
Sketch writer, Saturday Night Live (1992-94)
Designed Proctor & Gamble Logo

Employment History
1. 80,000 BC - 7,000 BC: Angel
Responsibilities: Sweeping up heaven, washing
linen, various other menial chores.
Salary: All the manna I wanted.
Reason for Leaving: Creative differences.
2. 7,000 BC - 6,999 BC: Computer Consultant
Accomplishments: DOS 640K Memory Limit
3. 6,998 BC - 1,996 AD: Independent Contractor
Accomplishments: Sodom and Gomorrah
Fall of Rome
The Nicean Council
The Black Plague
The Inquisition
John Calvin
Various Wars, Pestilences
Slavery
The Confederate States Of America
The Great Depression
Adolph Hitler
Joseph Stalin
Chairman Mao
Joseph McCarthy
Three-D Movies
Easy Listening Music (Kenny G)
GW Bush
Moral Majority/ 700 Club
"Three's Company"
Maury Povich
Saddam Hussein
Barney
Lil' Jon
"Laffy Taffy" song

Works in Progress: Global Warming
Wal-mart
Iraq
Republican Party
BET
Rap Music

Soon to begin: Mariah Carey's next movie

References:
Dick Cheney
GW Bush
Pat Robertson
Mike Tyson
Anna Nicole Smith
Suge Knight